Some stuff to know to live in Camp HB
by JustaHappyMe
Summary: I guess that if you're reading this, you're probably the newbie who took the dead-girl's bed. Sorry for you, that must be rough, buddy. But I'll try to help you as much as I can to survive, just follow these tricks and... Good luck!


**Disclaimer: I do not own PJ series or any space descibed in the books.**

* * *

><p><em>I guess that if you're reading this, you're probably the newbie who took the dead-girl's bed. Sorry for you, that must be rough, buddy. But I'll try to help you as much as I can to survive, just follow this tricks and... Good luck! <em>

_My name is Sally, and like you, I'm a half-blood and my mother is Selene, goddess of the moon. Living here, in Camp Half Blood is such a difficult thing, not only because of training and monsters, also because of demigods and stuff. Stuff like, you know, bullies, angry gods, no phones, no mortals, no sleeping, and how could I forget: no privacy._

_If you're lucky, at your right you'll still have the most perfect cabinmate in the whole world, I'm pleased to present to you Jenna. She's funny, kind, and kinda obsessed with cleaning and tidying the room, but she won't bother you with that, you'll just simply walk in and found everything perfectly placed and cleaned. Because that's how things work here, you can just walk in anywhere, there's no such thing like a closed door, even in the bathroom. Because, of course, we're all brothers and sisters._

_That looks pretty cool, doesn't it? We're all a happy family! No, just no, it's not like that at all. It works like an annoying over-controlling big brother, a hot one you can't fuck (which enters to the bathroom while you're showering with only a towel telling you that he needs a shower too, why? WHY THE HELL IS HE MY BROTHER?), a 'lovely' little sister who steals your stuff, a friend who doesn't give you any space… well, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, they are all such lovely bros and sis, but when you arrive, you'll hate them all. So start thinking about them as your family, not your friends, and it will all get better in no time at all._

_Another thing to think about is your cousins from the other cabins, yes, they're not like your brothers and sisters, It's not disturbing at all, don't ask me why, but it's socially acceptable and when you see those hot sweating muscular guys training with the blades, I'm sure you'll find it totally acceptable too! :)_

_Well, let's move forward. The next point is your stuff, I told you that there's no privacy, well.. I lied, you've got a little space which can't be touched by anyone except you under penalty of… death? No one really knows… nobody ever dared to find out. Anyway, you've got a safe-deposit box in the entrance of the cabin (those moon shaped doors on the wall), there you can put anything you want: your most precious memories, your make-up, your diary, your porn… No human being will ever touch it, unless you die, then the cleaning harpies eat it._

_Ergo, don't put anything there if you like it, or take it off when somebody goes to a quest (the harpies don't know which safe box is which, and eat them all)._

_Apart from that, everything is very, very cool. As you already know, we're always full of energy under the moonlight so maybe you already think that we've got the best night parties in the whole camp. Tree tips to survive: _

_1. Pick a thinner mate and never ever drink more than him/her. This way, he/she will always puke before you so you'll be able stop on time. _

_2. There are lots of things to try so moderate yourself; alcohol, weed, mushrooms and pills combined don't feel good. _

_3. If you get someone (if you know what I mean), remember to find a private dark place… you know, the gods are watching… _

_Looks fun, doesn't it? Well I was just kidding, here you can't even have a beer in a hot afternoon, and night parties? Keep dreaming, if you're wondering what do we do the night owls from this cabin, I'll just tell you that right now it's 5 o'clock. _

_You'll need lots of books, or someone who has plan ideas for eternal long nights. I can't suggest to get a boyfriend/girlfriend because we (the Selene Kids) are the only night owls. Sorry dude._

_Another thing I'd like to tell you is about the training, this time I'll be serious. Get a good partner to save your ass, no kidding, the lava is real! The swords are real! And the horses are mean (really, really mean, believe me…)!_

_I think it's almost safer to go on a quest than to stay at camp with a bad luck Brian next to you. So, be careful when you pick your trainer companion, I haven't been and I'm almost relieved to go on a quest._

_BTW, the sun is rising, I'm leaving now, I can't write more or correct the nonsense thing written up there, wish me luck in my quest! Well, if I have luck, you, dear reader won't ever, ever read it._

I wanted to write down more 'useful' tricks to live here, I wanted to spend my whole life finishing this letter, but I had to go. I went out of the library as quietly as I could leaving the letter under my mattress, I didn't like sentimental goodbyes so I tried not to catch the attention of any of my roommates that probably thought I was just going to the bathroom or something.

The sun was starting to show from behind the hill, l said hey to Apollo and walked to the exit of the camp, where I found the other two demigods that were coming to the suicidal quest with me. That's a good thing about leaving for a quest, even the most unpunctual guy on earth would be early, it's demigods 'logic' you know: if we have to die, better do it early.

And that's what we did. Just die early.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, it's my first Percy Jackson fanfic (well, ONESHOT), I wrote it with a friend long time ago and I decided to give it a try. I'm not a native english speaker, it's my third language, and I haven't used it in a long time so... sorry for any mistakes, I'd love if you could correct them so I can improve. <strong>


End file.
